Monday, August 10, 2009

The Ring

While sometimes I imagine that the River washes away my troubles, in at least one case, it did. I'm referring to my Wedding Ring. For over a year after my divorce became final, I kept The Ring. My husband left me - while I was pregnant and bed-ridden. And just like I hadn't wanted to part with my marriage or my husband, I didn't want to part with The Ring. It was the last tangible symbol of my marriage - other than my daughter.

I thought of selling it. It wasn't worth much. Just a simple tiny gold ring. But I couldn't imagine The Ring floating out there among the general population just waiting to ruin someone else's life. I knew someone who threw his in the trash. It's somewhere in the San Francisco City dump. But throwing it in the trash seemed anti-climatic. And it wouldn't have been gone right away. It would have lingered in the trash for a few days and then traveled to the dump before it was actually gone. I wanted something more final.

The River gave me the perfect solution. One warm summer evening, I got out The Ring. I sat on the porch drinking an ice-cold Corona. I turned it over in my hands a few times, got a little teary eyed. Then I walked to the edge of the water. It was high tide. I cranked my arm back and tossed The Ring far out into the River.

I imagined The Ring dropping to the bottom of the River. I pictured it sinking in the mud where the tides would wash it into the unknown never to be seen again. Or maybe a goose would come along and eat it. Then it would end up in a goose dropping somewhere. Fitting. Or perhaps a fish would swallow it. Then the fish would be eaten by a bigger fish. Then maybe a shark would eat it. Some fisherman would catch the shark and open it up to find a ring. It would be a ring then and not The Ring because he wouldn't know about the misfortune it had brought me. And certainly all the bad luck would have rubbed off in it's journey.

Bye Bye Ring. Hello.....

p.s. - I do not advocate throwing things in a river. I've done it only twice. Once in a Buddhist floating candle ceremony after Sept 11th. And then The Ring. Usually I'm cleaning up things out of the River.

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