I have discovered a secret joy of going to the dentist. Nitrous Oxide. Once you go nitrous, you never go back. But that's not the secret.
When I'm on nitrous oxide, my body starts to go numb and I feel spaced out. That coupled with the medical scenario, reproduces for me the feeling of giving birth. I had C-sections during I was light headed and nauseous from the loss of blood. And from having my stomach open to the world. And in the midst of this frightening blur, my baby girl was handed to me.
"Here is your baby girl. " I will never forget those words. There are few experiences in the world that you remember exactly the way they happened - the emotion and the feeling in your body and mind at that moment. Having my baby girl handed to me was one of those moments.
I started crying and gasped the words 'That came out of ME? She's mine?' I was amazed that my body could produce such a perfect being. And lying there in the dentist office with nitrous flowing into my lungs, I re-experience it every time. It's almost ludicrously lovely. I could get addicted to it. I could go to the dentist every week just to feel that blend of fear, nausea, and the most joyful moment I have ever known. I never want the experience to end.
And then I hear 'Open Wide' and get all confused.